Thank you, captain obvious.(INTERNET WAVES)(Column)

"Earth-Shattering Study: Men Like Good-Looking Women"

--Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (via FOX News; http://is.gd/2zsZyf)

Because I am an information hunter/gatherer by the nature of my work, my radar screen is always dense with research studies delving into psychology, sociology, marketing, and what-have-you. Someone somewhere is always surveying consumers, studying computer and internet users, watching people (usually college student subjects) interact, trying to coerce white rats into doing something they otherwise would not, or just counting or measuring stuff.

Of course, then there are the academics who want to be published (and attract funding), the market researchers who want you to buy their expensive reports (preferably via ongoing subscriptions), the nonprofit research institutes that want to be taken seriously (and attract donors), and the political organizations that want to be noticed (and attract donors). This means they're all trying to attract media attention. So, if you consume a lot of media, ipso facto, you see a lot of research and survey results.

Lots of this stuff really is fascinating, but a fair amount of it is ... duh. You know you've seen this time and again: Some person, group, or organization spent time and/or money to "prove" what common sense would logically dictate.

For example, this was an actual research topic for some sociologists:

"Disney Elevates Heterosexuality to Powerful, Magical Heights"

--Gender & Society (via EurekAlert!; http://is.gd/3NuQGk)

You'll also find a lot of painfully obvious research results centered around technology and its users, such as the following:

"Apple Owners Nearly 40 Percent More Interested in the iPad Than Non-Apple Owners, According to NPD"

--The NPD Group, Inc. (http://is.gd/h3Y9Q0)

One study came to this conclusion:

"Taking pictures (done by 76% of cell owners) and text messaging (done by 72% of cell owners) are the two non-voice functions that are widely popular among all cell phone users."

--Pew Internet & American Life Project (http://is.gd/UgBTBi)

How could it be otherwise? Depending on the source you consult, about 25% to 40% of the wireless population have smartphones. This means that 60% to 75% have old-school cell phones with limited functionality. Most of these contain some sort of camera, and all of them can be used to send text messages. The conclusion is obvious.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Likewise, no one should be scratching his or her head over this tech nugget:

"There are a number of factors that can make a web page slow to load, both on the client side (the browser) and on the server side, but one really big factor is page size ..."

--Royal Pingdom (http://is.gd/SzN55x)

Of course, psychology and sociology research is rife with this sort of thing and, alas, ripe for ridicule in the media. Here are just a few of the low-hanging fruit:

"Bullies Pick on Unpopular Kids, Study Finds"

--Child Development (via LiveScience.com; http://is.gd/KeFiVw)

"When Young Men Are Scarce, They're More Likely to Play the Field Than to Propose"

--Journal of Social, Evolutionary and Cultural Psychology (via EurekAlert!; http://is.gd/9a0jNC)

"Compared with friendless children, those who had friends were less likely to report depressed feelings."

--Development and Psychopathology (via Concordia Centre for Research in Human Development; http://is.gd/sUn2Bs)

And here's something from our friends in the U.K.:

"Researchers found that youngsters in prams which face the pusher are more likely to talk, laugh and interact."

--National Literacy Trust (via BBC News; http://is.gd/vVddgn)

"Please have a look into a basic psychology textbook before you start such a study! Who funds these things?! Who reviews the proposals?!" remarked a commenter on The PhD Forums (www.phdcomics.com/ proceedings) discussion board, where this research news was referenced.

Meanwhile, from our neighbor to the north, we learn that even optimistic people get depressed when they lose their jobs:

"In the midst of an economic crisis that's sparked massive layoffs, new research by a U of T [University of Toronto] professor shows that even optimists get the blues when facing a pink slip."

--Social Indicator Research (via Newswise, Inc.; http://is.gd/w1iI1K)

Also, here's another gem from Canada:

"Popular media coverage of infectious diseases greatly influences how people perceive those diseases, making them seem more dangerous ."

--Public Library of Science: ONE (via McMaster University; http://is.gd/ieG0QH)

And there are health-related studies with results that seem less than groundbreaking:

"Caffeine Impacts Kids' Sleep"

--The Journal of Pediatrics (via My Health News Daily; http://is.gd/ZJxrKt)

"Kids Need Parents' Help in Managing Type 1 Diabetes"

--Society of Behavioral Medicine (via Bloomberg Businessweek; http://is.gd/doj7U7)

"Institute for Aging Research Study Links High-Heels to Heel and Ankle Pain"

--Arthritis Care & Research (via EurekAlert!; http://is.gd/MYgOkS)

"Coffee and Cigarette Consumption Are High Among AA Attendees"

--Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research (via EurekAlert!; http://is.gd/yry8ty)

"Increased journey distance to hospital appears to be associated with increased risk of mortality."

--Emergency Medicine Journal (via PubMed; http://is.gd/mqp2rW)

Finally, those of us who are employed in the business world, academe, and the like could have preemptively enlightened the researchers behind this study, saving them much time and labor:

"[H]aving too many meetings and spending too much time in meetings per day may have negative effects on the individual."

--Group Dynamics: Theory, Research and Practice (via The Guardian; http://is.gd/jhFb8C)

Marc Abrahams, the editor of the Annals of Improbable Research (http://improbable.com) and founder of the Ig Nobel Prizes (http://improbable.com/ig), told MSN that the reason there are so many "oh . duh" studies has to do with how we fund (or don't fund) scientific research:

"The whole system of getting grants has gotten strange and Byzantine, and sometimes you just have to do the obvious in order to get money to do research.... The big problem with science--especially in the United States--is it's much easier to get funding for something people already know. It's not risky."

--10 Embarrassingly Obvious Health Studies; http://is.gd/hB9i29

Shirley Duglin Kennedy is a news researcher at the St. Petersburg Times and senior editor of the DocuTicker and ResourceShelf weblogs. Send your comments about this column to itletters@infotoday.com.